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Have I Honored You Enough?

Have I honored you enough,

This span of time since you’ve been gone?

Do you feel my enduring love,

From my darkness, where all seems wrong?

Do you see me reach for you,

While you’re away amongst the stars?

Do you feel my grief, my tears,

While angels heal your life-long scars?

Do you know you’re deeply missed,

As you pass through space and time?

Do you still hover ever near,

Though now of Spirit, no longer mine?

Have I honored you enough,

Declared, you – oh beautiful soul?

Told, how your light shone in this world

Your Life honored, cherished, story told?

My prayer, written for you my love, from my heart. Miss you always, EB

Do I Dare Allow my Mind to Wonder,..

Do I dare allow my mind to wonder, to a life we had imagined?

Allow me this moment of letting my heart soar.

A comforting home, with that dream kitchen and garden we sketched. A big kitchen island for gathering our family, our friends. And you doing what you loved, creating a meal from scratch, trying different herbs and spices, singing out loud with your favorite Italian opera. A house filled with sunlight, laughter, music, children, dogs. Your heart full, your mind clear, your spirit in joy. And you would have been fulfilled and appreciated in a rewarding career. Your light would have shone and bathed the people around you.

And we would have taken those vacations we always said we’d take, but never did. Time to discover us, sustain us, and find peace. We would have taken the time to focus on us, and not just run on that wheel looking after everyone and everything around us.

We would have viewed time as finite, precious,… and not as limitless, an entity to be ignored.

Yes please allow me this moment to dream, though brutally painful. Because none of it was realized. And I cry for us and our immeasurable loss. I pray that where you are, you have found peace and you are surrounded by love.

Surviving Grief

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Have I Honored You Enough?

Do I Dare Allow my Mind to Wonder,..

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